I learned something today. The Party doesn't want to better the world at all. All they want is power. Pure, limitless, never-ending power. O'Brien says the Party can control anything, he says he could levitate if he wanted to, but that's not what the Party wants. I told him the Party can't control the stars or the universe, but O'Brien said they could because the only reality that matters is the human mind, which the Party already controls. I guess it makes sense.
O'Brien made me look in the mirror. I wept at what I saw. I have become a frail, skeletal, gray man just like the one I saw in the waiting room. This is O'Brien's fault. I told him that, but O'Brien says I knew this would happen when I started writing my diary.
O'Brien did commend me for my strength in holding out and not betraying Julia. This statement swelled me with pride despite my sad physical state. But he says it doesn't matter because I'll be cured and shot anyway.
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